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Neal Boulton



Sex Advisor

Bastard Life is a gay, bi, lesbian and straight sex advice column by Neal Boulton. Every week Neal takes on a new topic and solves a new dilemma for Mark's List readers.

Have a sex & relationship question? Or an experience you want to share?
NB@BastardLife.com

For more insight, visit the full blog: It's easy and it's free.
 
  Short Link to the Neal Boulton's Bastard Life page on Mark's List: http://goo.gl/PmvDp

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Most recent update on this page: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:39:23 AM
 
 
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Bastard Life

 
Mastering the Art of Kissing

Aside from making the sex hotter, osculation, the scientific term for kissing, is a powerful tool that 7,791 BastardLife readers told us, if done well, could help persuade them to have sex, fall deeper in love, and feel closer to their partners. Brian from Seattle told us, "You can have the hottest body in town, but confidence is king to me. I want a guy who is committed to the kiss." If you are out of practice or looking to spice up your sex life, read about a few tips on Mastering the Art of Kissing.

 
 
What's on Your Playlist During Sex?
You might have once had a favorite sex record, or mixed tape, but then came the iPod, which got us wondering: What's your favorite "play"list during sex? A poll of 5,197 BastardLife readers revealed some old favorites—and new naughty ideas. "He’s not my boyfriend," Billy from Dallas said. "I've been his favorite friend with benefits for four years now. When he booty calls me I know what he wants, and nothing makes that better than some music with rough edges." More about the songs after the Jump, What's on Your Playlist During Sex?  
 
Got the Balls?
It’s no secret that in the 1970s and early 1980s gay and bisexual men gave bathhouse sex its infamy—promiscuous, anonymous and delirious. But fabulous? According to a poll of 4,319 BastardLife readers, 57% of you told us you had no objection to visiting one for sex. George E. of Houston wrote in: “There is nothing dirty or back room about it anymore. In fact, the bathhouse here is nicer and cleaner and more luxe than the country club my family belonged to when I was growing up.” More after the Jump, Got the Balls?    
Is He Marriage Material?
You’re gay and proud of the laws that finally allow gays to marry. Only thing is, you hate the idea of marriage. Now What? Paul R. from Houston, TX asked: Am I a bad gay? I’m proud that we can now marry, but I think heterosexual couples have proven beyond a reasonable doubt that marriage is a waste of time—and money (divorce). Find out what Neal Boulton has to say after the Jump, Is He Marriage Material?    
Open Relationships: The New Gay Norm?

Dave from Tampa asked: "My boyfriend and I see other guys from time to time on the side, even though we’ve been a happy couple for over five years. Does this mean we are having an open relationship or are we just a normal gay couple? Judging by an online poll of 4,312 BastardLife’s readers, one might think that their relationship is the new norm for gay men. More after the Jump, Open Relationships: The New Gay Norm?

 

Photo Courtesy of Queerty.com 
Seven Lies Every Guy Should Master

 By Neal Boulton

 

Some men admit that honesty is not always the best policy, especially when it ruins the relationships in their lives. "I never ask Michael anything I don't want the answer to. It's just an understanding we have," Tom told me after sharing that he suspects his husband is sleeping with a man they had a threesome with about a month ago. "But I just won't ask, and if he does tell me, I'll slap him and ask, 'Why didn't you just lie?'" More after the Jump, Lies Men Tell.

All Plugged Up

 By Neal Boulton

 

Butt Plug"I used a jump rope," New York native Timothy D. told us. "If you get a shiny laminated wooden handled one you'll be in heaven when you make out or 69 or do just about any thing."

No, Timothy is not suggesting that you skip rope like school girls with your man, he's referring to a growing trend of sex in which each partner is wearing as large (because with this particular activity, size does matter) an anal plug as he can possible handle. "The more intensely your prostate is pressed upon and your rectum is filled, the more sensitive your lips, tongue, nipples and penis will be." More after the jump, Plugged.

 
Coming Out Party


You Ask, We Advise

 

By Neal Boulton

 

In a poll of male BastardLife readers (men ages 25 - 42), 49 % told us they never even bothered to come out of the closet. Seth, 37, from Ft. Lauderdale said, "I was nervous as hell, but I just showed up to my sister's wedding with my boyfriend instead of the girlfriend I'd been lying about for years. And when they tossed out the bouquet, I made damn sure I caught it. Later, and drunk, me and Steve made out all evening while everyone danced the night away. My sister congratulated me the next day." More after the jump, Coming Out.

 

 

 
Pump Up Your Sexual Stamina

BastardLIfe

By Neal Boulton

 

Studies show that the higher the concentration of fat in a man's body, the lower his testosterone level the active agent of his libido will be. And a lower testosterone level leads to only one thing: softer erections.... More after the Jump, Stamina

 

 
Take a Position

 

You Ask, We Advise

 

By Neal Boulton

 

In a poll of 5,359 male BastardLife Readers, 47% said you prefer to sit on cock during intercourse. Chris from Miami said, "It's just how I like to start my night of fucking out: slippery with lube, gliding down on him and grinding for awhile until I explode...." Continued after the Jump, Position

 
Spit Shine

You Ask, We Advise

 

By Neal Boulton


In a poll of 11,139 gay male BastardLife readers 38% of you said you preferred spit over lube for intercourse. "It's that moment just before I plunge into him, the sound of me spitting in my hand, the wet sound of my slathering my...Continued after the Jump, Spit Shine

 
Body Parts

Bastard Life - body parts- index imageYou Ask, We Advise

 

By Neal Boulton


Holding strong. In a poll of 4,351 male BastardLife readers, 58% of you said it's his buff arms and that v-shaped set of muscles along side the abdomen that you live for. A remarkably small number of you, 28%, told us that... Continued after the Jump, Body Parts

"How To Be A Gay Porn Star," by Mike Donner

Mike Donner - Index ImageBy Neal Boulton

Mike Donner is the funny, always full of energy veteran and award winning adult director behind such films as “Porn Struck”, “A Current Affair”, and “The Porn Ultimatum”. He has employed over 1200 adult film workers including actors, producers, directors, and more.

In makes sense then that, “How To Be A Gay Porn Star”, has come into being. No pun intended.

More
after the Jump, Required Reading: "How To Be A Gay Porn Star," by Mike Donner
 
Three or Four
By Neal Boulton

In a poll of 5,319 BastardLife readers 48% of you said that you preferred a foursome to a threesome. Richard from Tampa said, "I like being able to have one guy to myself for awhile but I don't want to leave anyone out. In a foursome, everyone gets what they want." "A foursome insures you will never go without something hot going on around all of the parts of your body!" Continued after the Jump, Three or Four
 
Catch Me If You Can
Bastard Life- Catch Me If You Can - index imageBy Neal Boulton

Dirt, Sand, Snow? In a poll of 10,135 BastardLife readers, 71% of you said you've had great sex outdoors and you planned on having it there again. A generous number of you, 39%, said you preferred being outside precisely because of the charge you got from getting caught...Continued after the Jump, Catch Me If You Can
 
Suck Science
Suck Science - index imageBy Neal Boulton

Suck it. In a poll of 5,739 BastardLife readers, 41% of you said that you prefer to perform phalatio in the 69 position. Franklin from Bakersfield, CA tells us, "When I'm with a guy, 69ing is the first thing I try to position my self to do with him. There's nothing more amazing than us sucking each other off at the same time, and cumming at the same time, too." 29% of said you liked to get on your knees while he's standing tall, right in front of your face. "When I jerk off crouched down on my knees and he's in my mouth, I can't help but...Continued after the Jump, Suck Science

 
Bedding Contest

I left my heart in San Francisco

By Neal Boulton

061610-dr-bastard-life-bedding-contestWe love sex, and we also love contests, so BastardLife reached out to five smokin’ hot readers from around the country to see who could bed the highest number of guys in the shortest amount of time using five different methods: the Internet, the bar, the public bathroom, the bath house, and the glory hole video arcade.  Find out where the best cruising is...Continued after the Jump, Bedding Contest



Male Monogamy

 

Bastard Life - Male Monogamy - Scratch GuardAre you or aren't you

 

By Neal Boulton

 

In a poll of 12,1971 male BastardLife readers 73% of you said you weren't monogamous. "I don't get the virtuousness of it. I'm up front that I'm not into it, and I engage in safe sex. Am I a bad person for this? Hardly. I'm a happy person for this," Duane from Memphis, TN told us. 39% of you told us you've gone into your relationships with the intention of being monogamous, but cheated at some point. Victor of Seattle, WA said, "I'm not proud of it, but I'd rather cheat on the side very secretly than negotiate the open relationship thing. Too much jealousy." Continued after the Jump, Male Monogamy

 

 

Morning Wood
Morning Sex
Sex is best when it is not scheduled

By Neal Boulton

You like to sleep in on the weekends; he likes to wake you up early to have sex, and you're over it. Now what?

Q: My partner wakes up rock hard and initiates sex with me while I am still deep asleep. I find him extremely hot and I live for what we do in bed, but at six o'clock in the morning, not only do I want to sleep more, I can hardly get it up. I'm a night time lover. How do I get him on my schedule?

A: It is very common in partnerships that one of you is on a different arousal schedule than the other. The trick is... continued after the Jump, Morning Wood
 
 
"Are you kidding?"
Bastard Life Foot FetishUnique Experience. In a poll of 11,319 BastardLife readers, 47% of you said you've incorporated your partner's feet into your sexual regimen. "When my boyfriend and I are having sex, usually he's on his back and I'm inside of him from on top. That's when I lift up his legs and suck on his toes just as both of us are climaxing," Terrence from Norwich told us. Roxanne from New York said, "I cup my feet around my husband's penis and jerk him off slowly." 27% of you said you weren't able to climax "without... continued after the Jump Foot Fetishes
 
Armed and Dangerous

Dangerous RelationshipsAt BastardLife, we celebrate life, liberty, and the pursuit of sexual happiness, which is why I have a reoccurring fantasy. When I read letters about your abusive partners, or your violent encounters, I imagine the barrel of the gun above stuck inside the mouth of your perpetrator. And I imagine jamming it in there, deep inside his mouth, until he mumbles the words, "I will never do that again." Why such a violent fantasy? The statistics on intimate violence are still way too high in America. So while you may not have a gun, I do recommend you get armed and dangerous—by knowing more about the threats around all of us.-N.B. Continued after the Jump, Dangerous Relationships
Respect Yourself

You're tired of being a piece of furniture in his life; there to look at, and there to make him look good. Now what?

Bastard LifeQ: We met a year ago. He is without question an older, rugged, and seriously handsome man. We fell in love fast, but after he acquired me, the love seemed to stop, and it was one event after another with me on his arm, there to make him look good. I'm tired of just being a fancy piece of furniture in his life. I get him to see the man he fell in love with and come back?—Jeffrey, New York, NY

A: Sadly, some men acquire other men—usually attractive, younger men—as sport to boost their ego and make themselves look more virile without thinking about the impact their behavior has on their partners. First, take a moment, a long moment, and be honest... Continued after the Jump, Respect Yourself

 
New Gay Frontier

You've led a straight life, but more and more lately you find yourself interested in being intimate with men. One in particular, too. Now what?

New FrontierQ: "I work on a cattle ranch in Montana where gay life is surprisingly not looked down upon, but where there just isn't a lot of it around. I have always been lucky with girls (there aren't many of those either around where I live and work); but a man has appeared in my life from one of the other ranches and it is obvious that he is attracted to me. He's been cool about it, and discrete, but I have found myself so attracted and curious about taking the next step with him to the point of constant distraction. I just don't know how to handle this—I have never been intimate with a man. And does this mean I am gay?" Read Neal's answer after the Jump, New Gay Frontier

 
Gay Monogamy

Gay Monogamy Tips and SecretsIn a poll of 12,371 male BastardLife readers, 61% of you told us that you had no problem looking deep into the eyes of your men and exclaiming your love, or your fidelity, despite knowing you were keeping your options for other men open. "I want the men I am dating to feel loved—like he is the only one in the room, in my bed, in my life. I do see others he doesn't know about, but to tell him would be rude and hurtful. And besides, what if we do become exclusive?"  37% of you told us ... continued after the Jump, Gay Monogamy Secrets 
 
Filthy Fitness Tips
Gay Athletes and Sex
I like it in the locker room. Jimmy from LA told us what a lot of you have said, "I only like it filthy, and in the locker room. The bathroom stall, the shower—anywhere as long as it's there." But many more of you told us that while you found gym sex hot, it was no easy task converting interest into action. But according to a few BastardLife readers there are some techniques to making your raunchy fantasy a reality.—N.B. Continue reading after the Jump, Filthy Fitness Tips
 
She's Nasty


Lisa Lampanelli ComedianNo matter what your race, religion or sexual preference, Lisa Lampanelli will make fun of you. The self-proclaimed Queen of Mean burst onto the scene on the Comedy Central Roast of Pam Anderson in 2005. After joking on Courtney Love, Andy Dick, and of course, Pam, she became someone everyone watched for. Lampanelli followed up with more Comedy Central Roasts of William Shatner and Flavor Flav, an appearance in “Larry the Cable Guy” with several comedy specials and a book, “Chocolate Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat and Freaks.”  

Continue reading after the Jump, Lisa Lampanelli Interview
 
Mark's List Spring Underwear Fashion
 
Nut Busters

Smokin' HotWhat's in your wad? 
In a survey given to 7,391 male BastardLife readers asking how they would describe their orgasm, 45% checked off that it "felt like a giant pleasurable rush charging through my loins." Roughly 22% marked the description: "My heart races, my muscles clench, and everything, my cock and even my asshole, rage with pleasure."  Nearly 32% of the heterosexual men we polled said their orgasm alone wasn't enough, "I like to rub my anus, or penetrate it with my fingers, as well as rub my nipples because it makes the sensation of my orgasm even stronger." A small percentage of you said, "Cumming is like peeing, I do it to relieve myself then carry on with my day."—C.D. 

Continue reading after the Jump, Nut Busters

 
Glory Hole Days

In a poll of 8,531 BastardLife readers 67% of you said you preferred glory hole sex in a video arcade booth over bathhouse sex. "The baths always seem like a great idea when I'm about to explode because I can rent a room, check out some porn, shower, steam; but in the end, the tense cruising and lack of action ain't worth the 25 bucks," Mick from Siesta Key told us. Sean from Port Charlotte added, "With a glory hole in a video arcade booth you can suck and be sucked, or more, for a buck or two et Voila—your rocks are off and you're back on your merry way." 21% of you said the...
continue reading after the Jump, Glory Hole Days
 
What His Latex Says About Him

gay-condom-usage-032210
Dude DNA. No two men, or condoms, are the same. But everything from the way he rises up, pulls it out, and rips it open with his teeth, to the way he glides—or fumbles—it on will tell you all you need to know about him.

Furry Friend. In a poll of 9,371 BastardLife readers, 71% of you said you hated him totally...

Continue reading after the jump, What his Latex says about Him.
You've never had anal intercourse but you crave it quite often. Now what?
Hot Ass by Dennis Dean Images
Q:
I associate anal sex with being gay or contracting diseases; yet, I often fantasize about doing it. So far, I never have. I don't consider myself gay—I have a bisexual girlfriend who is always telling me I should try it. I think I'm ready. What advice can you give a first timer?

A: For most men, whether they know it or not, the anal area is an important erogenous zone because of both the dense concentration of nerve endings around the anal area and the close proximity of the prostate glad to the anal opening... Continue reading after the Jump, Craving Anal Intercourse

 
 

 
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